The Happier Happy Mansion

The Haunted Mansion Holiday through the trees.

So one would think that after my traumatic childhood interactions with the Haunted Mansion that I would have a developed a hatred for it, quite the contrary, it had become one of my favorite attractions. My more "mature" self learned to enjoy the change in atmosphere it brought to your day at Disney. So when I went back one year in October I was a bit disturbed to see that they had changed it to a "Nightmare Before Christmas" ride for the season.

 

Now I do have to say that I enjoy the movie. It's fun to think of Tim Burton working at Disney, like a dark, brooding creature surrounded by pastels and singing rodents, hunched over a drawing board to write this story out. The songs are very catchy and what else can you even listen to around Halloween time besides this soundtrack and 'Thriller'? I also found the only person I feel like I can believably dress up as for Halloween, Jack. This is probably the only time my extreme skinniness would come in handy, when dressing up as a skeleton in a suit. If I wasn't so utterly terrified of costumed characters I would try and get a closer look at Jack when he is walking around the park.

 

Jack and I as roommates..

 

At first I figured they would have just draped some black fabric around the mansion and shoved some random characters waving at you as you went past, but I was pleasantly surprised when almost every aspect of the ride was altered in some way. The outside of the attraction is decked out in Halloween/Christmas decor with pumpkins (all hand-carved) all over the property, Jack's garbage can sleigh perched on the roof, the countdown clock spinning wildly over the door and the scarecrow keeping guard on the front lawn.

 

 

I especially love the stretching room. In place of the usual portraits there are stained glass art that shatter as the room begins to stretch. They have done a new arrangement of 'Grim Grinning Ghosts' and boisterously play part of the tune as Jack's giant head appears above you. (I sing this short part almost constantly in anticipation whenever I know I get to go on this ride.)

 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic

The original portraits in the stretching room are actually still there, under the stained glass replacements. The creators where told they are so difficult to get set correctly that they needed to leave them where they were.

 

The whole attraction takes on a brighter, more neon/glow in the dark type of style, with characters from the film lurking all over. Every year they even have a haunted gingerbread house that is displayed on the ballroom table which is completely real! I love the smell of gingerbread in that room for the holidays.

 

The graveyard scene has been changed into a snowy Christma-ween party with the jovial music and singing pumpkins. Jack and Zero stand in place of the graveyard caretaker and his dog and welcome you to the fun. This figure is very impressive, I'm not sure how tall he is, but he is very imposing. I can see why people would be terrified to walk into their living rooms and find this guy putting presents under your tree.

 

Then they finally bring my favorite character into the ride;

 

 

Oogie Claws!! I like that even though he and Jack have had their differences, that he allows Oogie to finish off the ride, passing out gifts/tricks. Ive always been drawn to this character, I love his over-the-top personality and his neat design. In a movie full of creatures who are mischievous but generally good natured, Oogie Boogie is a real bad guy. He was going to kill Santa Clause for goodness sake. I think Disney needs to make more Oogie merchandise! There is Jack and Sally all over, but no Oogie? What gives? I really want an Oogie pin to wear around.

 

 

I love my cool Jack pins, but give Oogie some love Disney!

 

 

 

Lesson Learned;

Doing something different isn't a bad thing as long as you commit and make it the best that you can.

 

 

 

 



The Pirate's Life Isn't for Me

 

I can remember climbing into the back of my step father's truck, pretending it was a pirate ship and singing the song from Pirates of the Caribbean. (Or at least what I thought were the words, that song has some complex lyrics) I would tie a rock to the end of a rope and huck it overboard as my anchor and hold up an old towel as my sail. I'm sure my neighbors thought I needed to be committed.

 

One reason I had such an affinity for this ride is because of the first few minutes you are on the boat. You are loaded in and you shove off into the dark of a bayou, the clinking of silverware and smell of food wafting over from the Blue Bayou Restaurant. (which I still have never eaten at) This is one of the most peaceful moments for me in Disneyland. It is basically silent, aside from the sound of the water and the distant strumming on a banjo, (which I have always wanted to learn how to play, but everyone laughs and calls me a hick when I bring it up) Its basically pitch black except for the random flashing from neon bugs in the trees and hovering over the water. When we first moved to Georgia we were all outside on a muggy summer evening when my mother gasped at the sight of 'lightning bugs' or fireflies. "I always thought Disney made them up!"

 

You are lulled into this false sense of security by the easy drift past abandoned boats and a cast reject from "Deliverance" as you glide under a brick arch and are greeted by the talking skull mounted on the wall ahead. He speaks in a voice just above a whisper as he urges you to hold on (with both hands if you please) before the rushing sound of water alerts you to the eminent drop, or drops as it were. 

A quick cartoon of the drops


 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic

The reason for the two drops is to move you to the main show building, which requires you to pass under the railroad tracks. I originally thought they did it just to freak me out.

 

My favorite part of the ride (aside from the beginning) has always been the first few scenes, with the skeletons and the haunting sound of the music being played. There are quite a few rumors about the first few rooms;

 

1. In the bar room scene, the busty redhead depicted behind the bar is actually the same one that you will see later in the auction scene, after years of living the pirate life. I'm not sure I believe this one, but it makes it fun to look for.

 

2. The skull mounted on the headboard of the bed (with the skeleton looking through the magnifying glass) is either an actual human skull or a exact replica of one supposedly left to Disney by a zealous fan. I have a hard time believing this one as well, because if they were willing to mount real people's skulls in here, they would be swamped with them, mine included.

 

3. The Aztec chest from the first 'Pirates' movie is one of the last things you will see in these scenes. This one is true as confirmed by a special feature on the DVD.

 

Yeah, I have a piece of Aztec Gold.

 

 

They have added in a lot of new special effects to add to the experience since I was a kid, plus some Johnny Depps sprinkled about, but the good ones have stayed put. During the battle scene with cannon fire overhead I ALWAYS manage to get splashed. I don't get drenched, just splashed by one of the cannonballs hitting the water. I have always liked the Mayor getting dunked in the well and for some reason I have strange vivid memories about two other random pirates. The first is the one sitting on a bridge that you sail under, I always remember being repulsed by how dirty his feet were, and yet wanting to reach up and touch them; he also had a handkerchief between his toes when I was younger, but apparently too many other people had the urge to reach up and couldn't resist it. The second is the pirate with one foot on a boat and the other on land, for some reason I was always stressed that he was going to fall.

 

I also have to take a moment to also comment on something that I thought I was weird for loving; the smell of Pirates of the Caribbean. There is a musty, wet smell that I LOVE. I'm not sure if it's just the water, or if the smell just permeates the entire attraction, but I love stepping in the doors and taking a deep breath.

 

I know I would be a lousy pirate. I'm not terribly fond of being on boats for long periods of time, I like wearing clean clothes, I don't play the accordion (maybe if I played the banjo?) my facial hair grows in patchy and mostly as a goatee, my glasses would make seeing in the rain difficult, I'm very skinny so I get cold easily, I look terrible in hats and I'm not a big fan of being rude or violent for no real reason.

 

All that said; I would make an AWESOME Disney pirate! If you are ever lucky enough to be riding this ride with me, I'll show you the dance I'd want my pirate figure to do. On the off chance that Disney doesn't randomly select me to be added to the group of pirates, I guess I could be satisfied with my skull mounted somewhere instead.

 

Lesson Learned;

I could only be a good pirate in robot form...or the back of a truck.

Swiss-Tarzan Tree House

I LOVE the movie 'The Swiss Family Robinson'. I've already mentioned how much I enjoy jungles and such, so the concept of people actually setting up house and living there is just about the coolest thing ever. I made several attempts at making tree houses when I was younger, none of which were very impressive, but the things this family made where amazing.

 

The movie is based on the book by Johann David Wyss, and what I found fun about the script was that a group listed the things they would want in an island adventure movie, then turned it over to the screen writer. The water system that supplies the ice box and rooms with water was always one of my favorite parts of their tree, and the staircase that was manipulated by the ships wheel. Sure the movie has it's corny parts, but I think the overall effect is an exciting adventure with an interesting family. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.



A quick doodle of my brothers and I during the race depicted in the movie.

 

 While I LIKED Tarzan as a movie, I was definitely sad when they altered the Swiss Family Tree house in Disneyland to make room for the Tarzan motif. The general ambiance is still there, but there is something jolting about walking through the Swiss Family Robinson's house and running into stuff like this;

 

 Sabor, the jaguar that killed both Tarzan's parents and the child of a gorilla family

 

Jane Porter, doodling. (I love her line; "And Daddy, they took my boot!")

Baby Tarzan and his adopted mother, Kala

The wild man himself.

 

Like I said, no beef with Tarzan, but I LOVED the Robinsons. This was one of the first times I remember being really effected by an attraction changing/closing, something that many Disney parks lovers have had to learn to deal with. I just wish enough people would have shown this film to their kids so we could have kept it the way it was.

 

A Glimpse Behind the Scenes

When you walk past the room with the music playing on an old gramophone, you can hear the Swiss Polka playing, its like Mother Robinson is haunting the tree house!

 

To be fair, the Swiss Family Robinson still have residences in every other Disney park, but I still feel the need to point grumpily at Tarzan as I walk past.

 

Lesson Learned;

It's important to appreciate things all the time, you never know when it might be gone.

Sugar Rushing

Who hasn't drawn themselves as a Sugar Rush character from Wreck It Ralph? They are super cute, and so I've drawn myself several times...

 



The Temple of the Forbidden Eye

I'm pretty sure this is the first comic in Marabic...

 

I remember watching Indiana Jones (not understanding much) at a young age, and the imagery and atmosphere struck such a deep cord with me. I think the overall tone heavily influenced the movies I made in my backyard for most of my life.  There was the ever alluring draw of the jungle settings, rotting stone temples, deep forgotten histories and so forth; which of course is something that I find deeply intriguing.

 

So the first time I walked out of the Jungle Cruise and saw the newly opened 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye' I was immediately fascinated. The concept was wonderful, The Temple of Mara has been discovered, offering one of three possible amazing treasures to those brave enough to enter; Visions of the future, Earthly riches, or Eternal youth. There is one condition however, you must not look at the eyes of the god Mara or face your doom. So many have vanished inside the temple that Indiana Jones was called in, but now even he has dissappeared. Guests travel into the Temple of the Forbidden Eye in search of treaures and Indy as well. 

 

 I even love standing in the line.

Outside the temple there are bamboo walls and snake-shaped pillars, plus the excitement of glancing up the line to the dark door leading into the crumbling structure with greenery sprouting up all over the decrepit stone. When it first opened one could spend a lot of time out here, which only added to the growing anticipation.

 

 

Inside the temple is phenomenal!!! My young mind latched onto this aesthetic so fiercely that I still have dreams of decorating my basement in the same style. The soft sound of drums echoing through the darkened passageways, lit only by flickering torches or crudely wired mining lights that gutter and brown out as low rumblings can be heard from ahead. Carefully stepping around the diamond shaped stones in the floor and eyeing the spikes poking out of the holes in the ceiling and floor. The walls are scrolled with messages in "Marabic", a forgotten language Imagineers created just for this attraction. When it first opened they would hand out cards that would help you decifer the writing.  The grand atrium with its murals covering the crown of the room, vines snaking their way down through gaps and cracks, before entering the darkened room with a clicking projector revealing more of the story.

 

 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic:

The area the temple is built on was originally the Eyore parking lot. If you have a moment to pause in the projection room, apparently you can ask a cast member to shine their flashlight on the blue sign that still resides in the dark corners of the room. I haven't seen it myself, I'm usually too shy to ask the frazzled looking cast member.

 

Of course my mind was working overtime at this point and I seem to forget I'm at Disneyland and I stare at the video wide eyed as we are warned not to gaze into the eyes of Mara.. I legitimately panicked because I wasn't quite sure where the statue was that I wasn't allowed to look at. What if I looked by accident? There was no time for clarification however as we were loaded into the waiting jeeps.

 

The car turns a corner and we are presented with three doors. This is one of the more tense moments for me, even now, because to this day I have never been granted visions of the future. Not once. I think Mara is holding out on me. Eternal youth? Sure. Earthly Riches? Ok. But not one peek into the future. Even when I'm the one behind the wheel, I can never seem to get it to turn that way.

 

So either the door to riches or youth open up and you pull ahead, the thunderous voice of Mara announces what gift you are about to recieve.

 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic:

Did you know there is actually only one room? The doors are all on a moving wall that shifts to make it appear as though you are getting a different gift. The room beyond is changed by sound and different lighting.

 

You are pretty much unable to avoid looking into the eyes of Mara in this space, unless you close your eyes (which I did as a child) and where is the fun in that? As you approach the huge carved face, his eyes begin to smoke and he apparently takes back your gift and instead sends you to 'THE GATES OF DOOOOOOM!" (Read that in a booming voice.)

 

The car speeds ahead, lightning shooting through the walls around you as you see Indy himself struggling to hold "THE GATES OF DOOOOOOM" closed. He sends you ahead and as you crest a small hill you see Mara again, however this time half of his face has broken away to reveal a skull-like visage, his one hollow eye full of flames. It's a thrilling moment as the music changes to a gothic choir.

 

You weave your way through darkened passageways, dodging bugs and skeletons (Fun Fact: One of the skeletons is wearing a pair of Mickey Ears, the name 'Bones' embroidered on it. Bones, by complete coincidence, is also the nickname that I was given by a group of friends.) Then you finally get to the rikety bridge that spans a lake of lava and as you speed across, avoiding the fires started by the beam of light emmitted from Mara's eye, Indy says something about snakes.

 

I can remember sitting next to my sister as we noticed the huge snake up ahead. Over all the sounds of fire and hissing I can hear her say; "If that snake comes after me I'm going to freak out." Now, she tortured me constantly when we were younger, so I found great joy in her shrieking and ducking as the snake lunged at her.

 

There are more twists and turns and dangers until you come to a stop under Indy hanging from a rope. The low rumbling sound heralds the approach of the huge boulder from the first Indy movie. As it rolls into view, your car backs up a bit before speeding ahead and down a sudden drop, narrowly avoiding being crushed.

 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic:

Did you know that your car does not actually back up? Apparently having a ride vehicle go in reverse can cause some problems, so instead they just move the whole room around you. The tunnel itself moves forward, giving the illusion of backing up.

 

This ride is still the highlight of my Disney trips, regardless of the length of the line. It is the perfect marriage of technology and story telling. As far as I'm concerned, it's the perfect ride.

 

Lesson Learned;

I am not supposed to see visions of the future...and I'm bitter about that. 



Pausing Peter Pan

So a little while back, I bought Peter Pan, which Disney just released from their infamous 'vault'. I have so many good memories of this movie, it was one that I watched over and over as a kid. Its always fun to watch with adult eyes after a few years, because a lot of the subtlety was lost on me as a child.

 

But this post is a bit of a rant.

 

So as I'm picking up this movie I was scanning the back for special features, which I end up watching more than the movie itself most of the time. (The extra; 'Growing Up With Nine Old Men' was so good!!) As I looked over the  features I noticed one that kind of caught me off guard, this "Disney Intermission". What is this? But what really bothered me was the description; "Press pause and see what happens."

 

Excuse me?

 

Are you threatening me Disney?

 

Apparently this was the threat; Say you are watching Peter Pan very loud on your surround sound and someone calls, you naturally pause to take the call. Instead of the silence of a normal pause you get constant chatter from the characters, completely defeating the purpose of a pause button. I had to get up and leave the room because there is no way to turn it off without just hitting stop. This seems like a bit of a flaw to me. Not only do the characters continue to talk, but their conversations seem to escalate in intensity like they realize you are trying to tune them out and they are just not having that.

 

You know I love Disney as much if not more than most, but this feature elicited a frown from me as I shuffled out of the room while trying to talk loud enough to drown out Captain Hook and Smee arguing about hiding things under coconuts.

 

Lesson Learned:

Someone will always call during the movie that doesn't shut up when you pause it.

The Jungle Cruise

I have always lived a rich fantasy life. My mother will often roll her eyes when I start telling her about my memories of my childhood because I remember things that never happened. I remember people that I have never met, places I've never been and situations that I've never faced. I have always had an overactive imagination and apparently my young mind couldn't quite figure out what thoughts to store and which ones to discard. This, by the way, is a constant problem as my mind latches on to completely useless information and gets rid of things I need to remember. My social security number? It will take me a minute. Words to a jingle from an Outback commercial when I was eleven? Of course I remember every word.

 

As a kid I loved playing in the forested area behind our house, building forts, trekking through the leaves to find streams or mysterious hidden places. My imagination would occasionally get the better of me and I would have to run out of the trees certain that I had seen a wild animal or was being stalked by some sort of native tribe. I loved the allure of gorgeous jungles with its hot steamy weather and exotic wildlife, even if it was just in my backyard.

 

Naturally I blame Disney.

 

I always can remember the first ride that my family would arrive at on our trip to Disneyland. The line wound around a fascinating collection of jungle-themed items, and every now and then I could peek around the crowd and see the trees just beyond the water. The strange sound of birds is intermittently interrupted by the roar of a boat motor and the sounds of crowds being ushered aboard. I think I got so excited about this because it was the first ride and I was on an adrenaline rush about being at Disneyland again, so the Jungle Cruise has always held a little extra magic for me.  

 

A lot of people only seem to remember the corny jokes that the skipper tells as you float past the robotic animals, but most of them went over my head as a kid, so all I remember is the fascination with the imagery around me. I particularly loved the animals that would pop up out of the water, and the elephant bathing pool. (I have a strong obsession with elephants. Again, I blame Disney) Since we got there early in the morning, the sun would be filtering down through the leaves in a magical fashion, bouncing off the greenish water and casting dramatic shadows on the beasts hiding in the trees. I love this ride.

 

 

I had to take it all in fast, because my mother was not fond of going on rides twice in one day. I think this is because we always went in the summer when the lines were the longest and waiting in line with children wasn't the easiest thing to do. I would stare out of the boat and take in every detail that I could, willing myself to store every image. Later on I would recount my journey to my younger neighbors as if I had just gotten back from the Congo and then would spend the rest of the day trying to recreate the Disney experience in my backyard with toys, complete with the semi-jerky movements of the animals.

 

Later in life I had the opportunity to take someone to Disney for their first time, which reignited some of that childlike wonder in me as I got to point out all sorts of things that I loved to someone who wasn't jaded as most adults who had been there as many times as I had. Early in the morning we were near the Jungle Cruise and there were a few cast members blocking the entrance. They smiled and asked us how our day was going, I faked a scowl and said, "Y'all need to wake the animals up so we can go on the cruise!" They chuckled and agreed, but suggested we go get a Dole Whip while we waited. (Touche Disney) It wasn't until we were half way through the ride that my Disney virgin realized that the crack about waking up the animals was a joke.

 

Lesson Learned:

Never lose sight of what makes your inner child smile.