The Happier Happy Mansion

The Haunted Mansion Holiday through the trees.

So one would think that after my traumatic childhood interactions with the Haunted Mansion that I would have a developed a hatred for it, quite the contrary, it had become one of my favorite attractions. My more "mature" self learned to enjoy the change in atmosphere it brought to your day at Disney. So when I went back one year in October I was a bit disturbed to see that they had changed it to a "Nightmare Before Christmas" ride for the season.

 

Now I do have to say that I enjoy the movie. It's fun to think of Tim Burton working at Disney, like a dark, brooding creature surrounded by pastels and singing rodents, hunched over a drawing board to write this story out. The songs are very catchy and what else can you even listen to around Halloween time besides this soundtrack and 'Thriller'? I also found the only person I feel like I can believably dress up as for Halloween, Jack. This is probably the only time my extreme skinniness would come in handy, when dressing up as a skeleton in a suit. If I wasn't so utterly terrified of costumed characters I would try and get a closer look at Jack when he is walking around the park.

 

Jack and I as roommates..

 

At first I figured they would have just draped some black fabric around the mansion and shoved some random characters waving at you as you went past, but I was pleasantly surprised when almost every aspect of the ride was altered in some way. The outside of the attraction is decked out in Halloween/Christmas decor with pumpkins (all hand-carved) all over the property, Jack's garbage can sleigh perched on the roof, the countdown clock spinning wildly over the door and the scarecrow keeping guard on the front lawn.

 

 

I especially love the stretching room. In place of the usual portraits there are stained glass art that shatter as the room begins to stretch. They have done a new arrangement of 'Grim Grinning Ghosts' and boisterously play part of the tune as Jack's giant head appears above you. (I sing this short part almost constantly in anticipation whenever I know I get to go on this ride.)

 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic

The original portraits in the stretching room are actually still there, under the stained glass replacements. The creators where told they are so difficult to get set correctly that they needed to leave them where they were.

 

The whole attraction takes on a brighter, more neon/glow in the dark type of style, with characters from the film lurking all over. Every year they even have a haunted gingerbread house that is displayed on the ballroom table which is completely real! I love the smell of gingerbread in that room for the holidays.

 

The graveyard scene has been changed into a snowy Christma-ween party with the jovial music and singing pumpkins. Jack and Zero stand in place of the graveyard caretaker and his dog and welcome you to the fun. This figure is very impressive, I'm not sure how tall he is, but he is very imposing. I can see why people would be terrified to walk into their living rooms and find this guy putting presents under your tree.

 

Then they finally bring my favorite character into the ride;

 

 

Oogie Claws!! I like that even though he and Jack have had their differences, that he allows Oogie to finish off the ride, passing out gifts/tricks. Ive always been drawn to this character, I love his over-the-top personality and his neat design. In a movie full of creatures who are mischievous but generally good natured, Oogie Boogie is a real bad guy. He was going to kill Santa Clause for goodness sake. I think Disney needs to make more Oogie merchandise! There is Jack and Sally all over, but no Oogie? What gives? I really want an Oogie pin to wear around.

 

 

I love my cool Jack pins, but give Oogie some love Disney!

 

 

 

Lesson Learned;

Doing something different isn't a bad thing as long as you commit and make it the best that you can.

 

 

 

 



The Pirate's Life Isn't for Me

 

I can remember climbing into the back of my step father's truck, pretending it was a pirate ship and singing the song from Pirates of the Caribbean. (Or at least what I thought were the words, that song has some complex lyrics) I would tie a rock to the end of a rope and huck it overboard as my anchor and hold up an old towel as my sail. I'm sure my neighbors thought I needed to be committed.

 

One reason I had such an affinity for this ride is because of the first few minutes you are on the boat. You are loaded in and you shove off into the dark of a bayou, the clinking of silverware and smell of food wafting over from the Blue Bayou Restaurant. (which I still have never eaten at) This is one of the most peaceful moments for me in Disneyland. It is basically silent, aside from the sound of the water and the distant strumming on a banjo, (which I have always wanted to learn how to play, but everyone laughs and calls me a hick when I bring it up) Its basically pitch black except for the random flashing from neon bugs in the trees and hovering over the water. When we first moved to Georgia we were all outside on a muggy summer evening when my mother gasped at the sight of 'lightning bugs' or fireflies. "I always thought Disney made them up!"

 

You are lulled into this false sense of security by the easy drift past abandoned boats and a cast reject from "Deliverance" as you glide under a brick arch and are greeted by the talking skull mounted on the wall ahead. He speaks in a voice just above a whisper as he urges you to hold on (with both hands if you please) before the rushing sound of water alerts you to the eminent drop, or drops as it were. 

A quick cartoon of the drops


 

A Glimpse Behind the Magic

The reason for the two drops is to move you to the main show building, which requires you to pass under the railroad tracks. I originally thought they did it just to freak me out.

 

My favorite part of the ride (aside from the beginning) has always been the first few scenes, with the skeletons and the haunting sound of the music being played. There are quite a few rumors about the first few rooms;

 

1. In the bar room scene, the busty redhead depicted behind the bar is actually the same one that you will see later in the auction scene, after years of living the pirate life. I'm not sure I believe this one, but it makes it fun to look for.

 

2. The skull mounted on the headboard of the bed (with the skeleton looking through the magnifying glass) is either an actual human skull or a exact replica of one supposedly left to Disney by a zealous fan. I have a hard time believing this one as well, because if they were willing to mount real people's skulls in here, they would be swamped with them, mine included.

 

3. The Aztec chest from the first 'Pirates' movie is one of the last things you will see in these scenes. This one is true as confirmed by a special feature on the DVD.

 

Yeah, I have a piece of Aztec Gold.

 

 

They have added in a lot of new special effects to add to the experience since I was a kid, plus some Johnny Depps sprinkled about, but the good ones have stayed put. During the battle scene with cannon fire overhead I ALWAYS manage to get splashed. I don't get drenched, just splashed by one of the cannonballs hitting the water. I have always liked the Mayor getting dunked in the well and for some reason I have strange vivid memories about two other random pirates. The first is the one sitting on a bridge that you sail under, I always remember being repulsed by how dirty his feet were, and yet wanting to reach up and touch them; he also had a handkerchief between his toes when I was younger, but apparently too many other people had the urge to reach up and couldn't resist it. The second is the pirate with one foot on a boat and the other on land, for some reason I was always stressed that he was going to fall.

 

I also have to take a moment to also comment on something that I thought I was weird for loving; the smell of Pirates of the Caribbean. There is a musty, wet smell that I LOVE. I'm not sure if it's just the water, or if the smell just permeates the entire attraction, but I love stepping in the doors and taking a deep breath.

 

I know I would be a lousy pirate. I'm not terribly fond of being on boats for long periods of time, I like wearing clean clothes, I don't play the accordion (maybe if I played the banjo?) my facial hair grows in patchy and mostly as a goatee, my glasses would make seeing in the rain difficult, I'm very skinny so I get cold easily, I look terrible in hats and I'm not a big fan of being rude or violent for no real reason.

 

All that said; I would make an AWESOME Disney pirate! If you are ever lucky enough to be riding this ride with me, I'll show you the dance I'd want my pirate figure to do. On the off chance that Disney doesn't randomly select me to be added to the group of pirates, I guess I could be satisfied with my skull mounted somewhere instead.

 

Lesson Learned;

I could only be a good pirate in robot form...or the back of a truck.

The "Happy" Mansion



Just a quick doodle of me in The "Happy Mansion"

 

My earliest memories of Disneyland are tied to my trips there with my mother. Mom was raised in southern California, and according to her; "There is no other Disney." and to this day she still has refused to set foot in the 'other park'. I was very lucky to have Grandparents who loved spoiling their grandchildren and no summer was complete until the trip to Disneyland.

Our day at Disney started (what seemed to a child) obscenely early. My older sister and I were dragged out of bed and shoved into my Grandparents station wagon before the sun was up. Let it be known that I am not, nor ever will be, a morning person. Even now it takes some effort to smile before ten in the morning. Mom's grand plan was to get to the park as early as possible so that we had to stand and wait for them to drop the velvet rope and the crowd would run into the park.

While I'll get into my Mother's OCD Disney routine later, very early in the morning we would end up in front of what my Mom would cheerfully call "The Happy Mansion". Being as oblivious as we were, my older sister and I would stand in the creepy, very un-happy line never questioning. By the time we were in the cobwebbed foyer it was too late to back out and I would spend the rest of the time with eyes screwed tightly shut. I can remember cowering in the doom buggy, clutching whichever adult happened to be close, occasionally mustering up enough courage to peek and see if the ride was almost over. The only part I actually liked was when the ghost sat in the ride with us, not because I thought it was fun, but because it meant I was almost done with this torture.

 

Repeat the same situation EVERY YEAR.

When my sister turned about seven (I would have been five at this point) we were on our trip to Disneyland and we arrived at the metal gates and my mother trilled that it was time for the "Happy Mansion". My sister scowled at the sign on the front of the attraction. She had learned to read pretty well by this point and she practically screamed; "THAT DOESN'T SAY HAPPY!" Panic ensued. I was a very willful child, and when combined with my sister we could dig in our heels pretty well.

Finally Mom put her foot down;

 "You have been on this every year with no problem, you are getting on."

The only thing that can trump combined sibling meltdown; Mom.

I decided right then that reading is very important. Thank you Disney.

Life Lesson:

Don't accept spoon fed answers or knowledge you haven't acquired on your own. Get educated and form your own informed opinions.